Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
