hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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