I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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