i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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