she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
