she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
