Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
