Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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