all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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