Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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