I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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