mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
