The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
