just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize