Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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