Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
