The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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