Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize