The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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