he was CRYING into my vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
