Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
