This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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