yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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