I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize