I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
