I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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