what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
