Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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