hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
