you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize