This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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