should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
