it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
