I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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