how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
