I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
