Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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