What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
