i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
