He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The ass gains better be worth it
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