she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
