Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
