She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
