I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
