And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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