I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
