he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
