I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize