bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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