How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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