it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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