Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
