dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize