OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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