Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
