You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
